Quick E-tips
February 2008
We hope you enjoy this newsletter brought to you by International Advantage® LLC - Leading Across Cultures™. Every month we bring you tips to help your team and organization, especially those operating in culturally diverse environments, reach their business goals.
This Month's Topic
Are You Too Smart For An Executive Team? Here’s How “Being Smart” Can Work Against You
“How did your meeting go?” I asked my client, who is part of an executive team. “I’m not sure,” he replied. “I presented my ideas and maybe I came across too strongly. I don’t know if people agree with me or if I ticked some of them off. I’m sure I’ll find out soon enough.”
So I wonder if this sounds like something you have ever said. Have you ever had doubts after leaving a conversation with a person or a group? Or spent time wondering if you were unclear, misunderstood, overly critical, or so on? I do. We all do. And then sometimes we worry about it and then we work to smooth things over.
Here’s the problem. We are too smart. Seriously, we are too smart. We are too smart because somehow we don’t think to ask. Instead, we act as if we should be able to read everyone’s mind and simply know what the impact of our words are.
Most of us know this: When we communicate something, we usually have a message with some sort of intention attached. The problem is that others do not always receive it the way we meant it.
And from a cross-cultural perspective, not asking about the impact of your statements is often equal to shooting oneself in the foot! Why, because people with vastly different experiences hold beliefs and assumptions (not to mention facial expressions!) that can be dramatically different. These beliefs and assumptions produce norms, which are often taken totally for granted on all sides. So the effect of cultural diversity is usually hidden and extremely difficult to identify and address. And these differences cause all kinds of misunderstandings.
Cultural differences – more than any other kind of diversity -- have the greatest potential to obstruct effective interaction…and at the same time have the greatest potential for creating enormous value. Why? Because a highly diverse team is capable of a level of innovation and creativity not found in more homogeneous teams.
So the point is that we can ask. Examples:
- “What did you hear me say (and how are hearing it)?”
- “What is your reaction to what I said?”
- “What are you thinking / feeling?”
Or make a statement based on an observation without making meaning of it:
- “I noticed you looked down.” (Not “You look disappointed”)
- “You seemed to frown.” (Not “Are you upset?”)
Or combine a statement with a question:
- “My intention was to let you know how strongly I feel about this but also to let you know I am still open to other ideas. Is that what you heard?"
Sounds simple, but it’s not because it’s not something most of us do naturally. We usually just look at people and react to the obvious signs: laughter, shock, anger. But most of us are pretty good at hiding what we really feel or think, so inviting someone’s response clarifies all kinds of things on the spot. And while people from any culture may not always answer you directly, if trust has been established you may experience an immediate payoff.
The fancy expression for this topic is the ability to balance “inquiry and advocacy”. We are often great advocates for our opinions and ideas. We are smart. We’ve got lots of ideas. But what we don’t always do is inquire. It pays to ask a question and learn how our comments are received.
Without real exchange, people feel alone, misunderstood and uncertain. I have seen executive teams lose enormous productivity because of the drama that is created around that uncertainty. So do yourself a favor, and don’t be too smart.
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To your success around the globe,
Lisa Koss, Principal Consultant International Advantage® LLC Consulting, Facilitation, Training Phoenix, Arizona U.S.A. Direct: +1 - 623-866-8893 www.intladvantage.com lisakoss@intladvantage.com©Lisa Koss, 2008